Jokes...

[mutesinger]

...SanTa & BanTa


Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
       

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a
wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

       
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to
tumhare liye.



Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi
zindagi hai.

   


Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe
ghoom
rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

       
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name
from
NASA to SATYANASA

       


Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

       
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

   

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

       
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

 
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte
ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

       

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

       


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand,
oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is
he crying?

       

   

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

       

   

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated...

drank poison & said,

Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

       

   

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10 ve number pe tha

       

   

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

       

   

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set
kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car
mein
chalaoonga!

       

   

Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

       

   

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India
Radio!

       

   

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz
hi
kya hai ?

       

   

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

       

   

Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

       

   

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

       

   

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi
ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

       

   

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

       

   

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

       

   

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

       

   

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

       

   

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

       

   

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because
they
advertised: 'Free Delivery'

       

[Maira]

 very nice sharing mute 

[mutesinger]

...Thanx 

[larki ho tow meray jaisi(RUSHNA;))]

  :hehe:hahahaha.nice jokes yaar

[mutesinger]

...Thanx 

[larki ho tow meray jaisi(RUSHNA;))]

...Thanx 

please share some more jokes ,otherwise 

[mutesinger]

...Don't worry jaani I will share soon 

[mutesinger]

...Amitabh : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke leye yeh raha apke samne..
Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.
Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan
ON Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bacchan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Azaruddin D. General Perverz Musharaff .
Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ? ( He is quite sure that Santa will opt
for A)
But Santa is still confused.
Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..50:50 and phone a friend.
Santa: I think it is A, but am not sure.
Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm ap kya karna chahenge?
Santa : I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..
Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azharuddin.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made
this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on.
Now Santa is confused.
Santa: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..
Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Santa : "Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga...."
Amitabh Fainted !!!!!
And the call is now connected to Jayabachan and listen ......
Santa asked the question to Jaya.
Santa : " Jayaji , Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan ?
Jaya Bachan: Give me the options!!!!!!

[larki ho tow meray jaisi(RUSHNA;))]

         bechara AMITABH 

[mutesinger]

...

[SnOw DolL]

Aik Lahori Hajj per jata hai tu Kehta hai k Ay ALLAH tera ghar kitni rehmaton wala, barkaton  wala, aman wala or salamti wala hai par LAHORE  LAHORE a.

[mutesinger]

...

[sweetsandrila]

2 lovers plan to suicide.boy jumped first.girl closed her eyes and return back saying LOVE IS BLIND.the boy in air open his parachute and said
             
             LOVE NEVER DIES.

[mutesinger]

... 

[$unny]

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